A Phoenix Burning

Rantings of a Homebound Lunatic

*I hate the rain.

*I love the rain because it isn’t accompanied by tornadoes.

*I’m pissed off at my back and my damned nerve.

*I’m thankful for my trials because they are much less than other’s trials.

*I love my family, they are so helpful!!

*Why can’t they keep their damned things off the damned floor?!!!!

*I love my house…it’s so cozy.

*I HATE my house! It’s damned filthy, and stinky, and falling apart? Why did we ever buy a damned old house anyway??!!!

*I want to take pictures.

*I can’t be bothered to take pictures.

*I NEED time alone!!!

*I’m so lonely, I need company.

*This pillow is too hard.

*This pillow is too soft.

*Everything is so pretty and green!

*Everything is so damned GREEN!!!!!

*I want to buy new blinds and curtains.

*I want to renovate the house.

*I want to start over and build a new house.

*Wahhhhh! I can’t leave my house!  I love my house!!!

*Wahhh!  I love my neighbors! I can’t leave them!!!

*ANOTHER DAMNED ANT!!! I HATE MY HOUSE!!!!

*I love weekends when we’re all together.

*I can’t wait till everyone leaves for work and school on Monday!!

This is a small sampling of my state of mind these days!  LOL  I think I am at war with myself.  My evil “twin” wants to be depressed and miserable, but my spirit is fighting the good fight, constantly keeping perspective, and reminding itself how fortunate it is.

Today, I take Scott’s advice and travel with camera in hand throughout the day.  The goal, capture the things I’m thankful for this day.  A day of gratitude is therapy for the soul.

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12 responses

  1. Sounds like a pretty normal day to me… 😉

    Ugh, the ANTS! What is UP with the ants this year?? Must be all the rain. Otherwise, I am the worst housekeeper, ever.

    Keep fighting, KD. Don’t let the sciatica win!

    May 23, 2011 at 8:17 am

    • OMG! The ants are HORRIBLE this year!!! I had a HUGE one the other day…freaked me out. My Mr. Bug Man is on the job. 🙂

      May 25, 2011 at 5:55 pm

  2. This scrolled across my feed reader and about halfway down I started laughing out loud. I hope it helps to know that, um, Me Too. So, lessee, today I can be grateful for the rain, the Duo in full, glorious, muddy Disreputability–and a rueful blog post that perked me up. Here’s to a good day, one way and another. Gratefully Yours.

    May 23, 2011 at 8:29 am

    • Well, I’m glad I gave you a chuckle Gerry…Feeling like a big ol’ whiner lately. Must work on that! 🙂

      May 25, 2011 at 5:58 pm

  3. It must be something to be inside that head of yours. 😀 So, did the therapy day with the camera help?

    May 23, 2011 at 8:32 am

    • Lord…my head is a scary place to be sometimes Scott! LOL

      May 25, 2011 at 5:56 pm

    • And yes, it felt good to have camera in hand again….

      May 25, 2011 at 5:56 pm

  4. Hey, that’s me on a Good Day / Bad Day too…
    The hospital said a few weeks ago to expect at *least* a few more months on crutches.
    ugh… it’s been six months already so I’m positive that at least I’m making progress one day and frustrated that it’s taking so long the next.
    As long as there is progress there is an end in sight… even if that end is around a few twists and turns that keep you wondering sometimes.
    My Life lesson at the moment? = Patience is a virtue and that some days I could be more virtuous in that respect.
    I hope that you too are seeing progress.

    May 23, 2011 at 11:13 am

    • Oh, my goodness! Another few more months?! So challenging! Well, I will keep you in mind when I’m feeling sorry for myself, and send good thoughts your way instead!

      I am seeing slow progress FINALLY…My latest treatment of Prednisone has given me Hope in a Bottle. Baby steps. And sometimes the progress is so slow, it can easily go unnoticed. However, today was a good day. I realized at dinnertime that I had forgotten to take my afternoon pain meds. THAT’S progress! I usually count down the hours and minutes until I can take the next dose. So this was a good day. 🙂

      May 25, 2011 at 6:03 pm

  5. Yes, that sounds like a pretty normal day, KD. My husband and I bought our house from his mother, so I have plenty of days that I feel like I lost out on getting a place that is “truly mine” even though we’ve changed every room in the house from what it originally looked like.

    May 24, 2011 at 3:20 pm

    • That must be hard. I remember when we finally got around to repainting the last room in the house, and I felt like it was finally mine. 🙂
      Now it’s time to rearrange walls. LOL

      May 25, 2011 at 6:04 pm

  6. Be at peace in your home. Be at peace in your skin. Be at peace in this new life of managing pain and fighting the monotony. Be at peace. Buck up little camper.

    July 27, 2011 at 11:02 pm

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