Do you ever feel like your entire life centers around a theme? You know, that “thing” your soul needs to learn next in it’s path to enlightenment? I’ve heard it said that God will continue to send you trials to challenge you to learn this lesson until you get it right. Well, the theme of my life has always been “patience” (or so I’ve thought—I had a very wise man ponder once that he thought I was not on the right track with that theory…and therefore that is why I continue to fail at this lesson. That until I figured out my true life “theme” I would continue to be frustrated. Maybe he was right.)
Anyway…I have worked hard on my path to enlightenment. I became a Special Education teacher, (and a darned good one if I do say so myself) which took a TON of patience. And I worked with severely disabled adults for years (and I had a wealth of patience for that job.) And I married Zan—let me tell ya’…patience galore. (He’s had to have a lot to stick with me too, so I guess we’re even.) I have been on long-term bedrest with each of my three children, and managed to remain peaceful throughout my sentences. I have three children, which is a very huge trial on my patience at times, but they remain very much loved, and unabused. I tell you all this so you understand why I am so exasperated when something like this:
threatens to shred my hold on sanity.
The phone cord caught this half full cup of yogurt this morning as I talked with Zan, and then came the F-Bomb heard round the world. The demon that resides quietly inside my typically rational breast, threatened to chew it’s way out like the vampire/half-breed spawn in Twilight and devour everything in it’s path. Why, oh WHY have I not progressed further along my “path to enlightenment?” In fact, I think I’ve taken one step forward and two steps backward (sometimes three) throughout my 39 years on the planet. The “little” things will surely lead to my eventual demise. I will be that crazy old lady that all the neighborhood kids are afraid of, living behind dark shabby curtains and a wall of overgrown shrubbery. And yet, I won’t be lonely, because I will still have my little demon sprite living with me, irritating me to irrationality at every opportunity. Knocking over yogurt containers, making sure there are no more paper towels in the house to clean up the mess with…
Yes, unless I learn my lesson soon, this is my sad fate. I’ve heard that straight-jackets are really quite comfortable though…? I’ll let you know.