A Phoenix Burning

Showcase Syndrome

They really need to coin this term and add it in the next DSM Manual of Mental Disorders.  I will even write the diagnostic criteria for them.  *ahem*

Showcase Syndrome is a newly confirmed diagnosis whereas the patient experiences mild to grave symptoms of depression following an annual trip to a Home Builders’ Showcase.  The symptoms are defined, but not limited to:

* lethargy

* emotional outbursts (these may range from mere weepiness to the more puzzling violent anger, especially when patient is confronted with an organizational dilemma which can’t be solved because patient does not possess a closet the size of her living room.)

*  periods of intense staring and daydreaming  (following a long-term study, it has been concluded that during these staring episodes, the patient is imagining herself in the middle of her fantasy kitchen, complete with glass tiles, Viking stove, and roaring open fireplace.)

* periods of frenetic internet activity (it has been concluded that patient is searching for thrifty room decorating ideas which will aid her in visualizing her fantasy.)

*  green tinge to skin in especially grave cases

There is no known cure for this syndrome at this time.  Large quantities of wine have been proven to be temporarily effective at relieving symptoms.  However, the best therapy at this time is proven to be time spent reading the Bible and chanting “Thou Shalt Not Covet, Thou Shalt Not Covet” while viewing videos of Third World nations.

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4 responses

  1. morningjoy

    Hilarious! I’ve been there and experienced that. The syndrome calls for radical therapy: Give it all up and move into a tent.

    October 7, 2008 at 10:57 am

  2. Morningjoy! Very happy to see you here! 🙂
    I like your plan….but can I get one of those lovely multi-room tents with the screened in “porch” attachment? 😉

    October 7, 2008 at 7:05 pm

  3. KD — I am very familiar with that disease. Was *this* close to getting that dream house and then a 35% decline in the stock market and home values tumble. Oh well, five more years, five more years…

    October 9, 2008 at 9:49 am

  4. Aww…MM!
    Just think how sad you would’ve been to leave your new deck behind. 😉 (That just made it all better didn’t it?) *ducking*

    October 9, 2008 at 11:20 am

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