Do Not Read This if You are Squeamish About Eye Things…or if You are About to Go to the Eye Doctor for an Exam…Trust Me, You Don’t Want to Know
Okay, so let me begin by saying that I am not some wussy girl. I am pretty tough…I birthed three babies naturally and lived to tell the tale. However, today almost saw me on the floor of the opthamologists exam room. See this?
This is my eye, two hours after a dilation. I have some glaucoma markers, so my optometrist wanted me to have a thorough exam to rule out any problems, and to get a baseline reading on my optic nerve. “Will it be scary?” I asked him. “Nah! No worse than you go through here.” So, I expected easy. I don’t like the sensation of having my eyes dilated, but I knew I could handle that. But I do get a bit queasy at the thought of eye procedures in general, so I was a *bit* nervous…but he said it wouldn’t be scary, right? WRONGO!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m sorry, but if having a computer stylus pushed into your frozen eyeball 6 times per side isn’t scary, then heck on a piece of toast, I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS!!!! “Just look straight ahead at the red dot on the chart. I am going to measure the thickness of your cornea.” “Oh, okay….but wait, I can’t see the red dot. Let me put on my glasses.” “No, you need your glasses off. Just look in the direction of the chart then.” “Hmm…okay. Wait, what are you doing with that pen? Wait! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT!” My cries went unanswered, and she proceeded to stick that damned thing in my eye!!! Not once, but SIX TIMES!!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
The good news is that my eyes are perfectly healthy, although a bit abnormally structured. It’s a good thing too, because I am never going back to that torture chamber again. Nevermind that in hindsight (no pun intended) the procedure wasn’t really that bad…the idea of it is worse than the actual going through it. But still…if God had wanted a pen poking into your eye, he would’ve put it there himself. It’s just not natural. *shudder*
Addendum: Please see this follow-up post!