A Phoenix Burning

One Toddler



I think his Daddy has been showing him too much YouTube.

Shopping is not my boy’s forte.  Old ladies (and a few young ones) were giving me dirty looks today.  Apparently I can’t control my child well enough for their sensitivities.  The problem today?  Balls.  F-ing balls.  I’m beginning to hate balls.  I want to write to Target and ask them to remove all balls…or items that can look like balls from a distance…what the heck, how about anything that is round…just take them away please.  Today I would not hand him a giant ball from the bin.  He made me regret it, though I am quite proud of myself for not giving in to his attempt to manipulate me into giving him his way.  I chose to ignore the fit, pushing the stroller through the gaping aisles, stopping to look blindly at items of interest, with my child screaming at the top of his bloody lungs, turning purple in the face, liquid running out of every hole in his face.  He was drenched in sweat, writhing in his seat, and yet, I smiled politely at the judgmental old ladies, pushing on.  I picked him up at one point, hoping to comfort, but when he raked his nails across my face, and kicked me in the legs, I wrestled him back into the stroller, strapping him in.  He didn’t like that very much.  And yet, I *think* I won the battle.  When he started sobbing sadly for, “Mamaaaaaaa,” I knew his anger was spent, and he knew he wouldn’t get his way.  I was able to pick him up at that point, and my sweet boy was back, the demon exorcised once more. 

“Dear God, please let me never forget what shopping with a toddler is like, so that I may look upon harried mothers and their screaming children with compassion, rather than disgust.  Amen.”


8 responses

  1. karma

    I haven’t forgotten what shopping with a toddler can be like, but I also admit to still feeling annoyed at public tantrums. There’s no way to truly “win” with a tantrum, but I always felt the need to get the hell out of wherever I was if a tantrum was on the way. I do have a bit of a better feeling now though – rather than feel disgusted like I did before I had children, now I can sit back and think “at least its not my kid!” 😉

    August 28, 2008 at 4:58 pm

  2. I’ll take him! 😉 I miss having a little one around… don’t miss the tantrums, though. LOL
    Well, if it makes you feel better, when Melissa was 8 or 9 (and really should have known better) she threw a huge fit at the grocery store. Now THAT was embarrassing!! I ended up taking her to the car, and letting dh finish shopping.

    August 28, 2008 at 7:25 pm

  3. Yeah, I can relate to that feeling too Karma. With the girls, I was embarrassed enough, (and worried about other people enough) to leave as fast as possible. Now, I don’t embarrass so easily, and today I really felt like I had to a) teach him that he couldn’t get his way no matter how loudly he screamed, and b) I was going to get through my task whether he liked it or not. I also can’t let him rule the family (as much as he’d like to!) with two other older kids to worry about. If I left a store everytime he made a fuss, or each time I got dirty looks from people, I’d never leave the house. lol
    (Not that he’s a bad boy…he really isn’t 97% of the time…but it’s tough to be one and a half and learning limits.) 🙂
    I tend to get annoyed at the parents who have screaming toddlers, and never follow through with their threats. They threaten in a louder voice, “Okay! We’re going home! Right now! Are you gonna stop?” then walk two more steps, “Okay we’re REALLY leaving now…oooh…just wait till I tell your father.” Then I see them ten minutes later, still threatening, “Okay, give me that..I’m not buying that for you now…and no candy when you get home either!” “Alright, that’s it! Now we’re really leaving. Why can’t you ever behave?!!” And then I see the kid walking out awhile later, on his terms with whatever was taken away five minutes before. *sigh*
    Ah, well…I guess we’re all just doing the best we can! My two girls were so well-behaved in public that I thought I was a wonderful parent indeed. Then God sent me Baby Boy in order to cleanse me of my cockiness. *laugh*

    August 28, 2008 at 8:03 pm

  4. karma

    Oh I know what you mean KD! I totally can’t stand it when parents don’t follow through. I feel so strongly about that and always do my best to follow through. I think that consistency and doing what you say you are going to do as a parent is so important. I feel pretty proud of my girls too and (unless I’m blocking them out!) tantrums were fairly few and far between with them! 🙂

    August 28, 2008 at 8:08 pm

  5. *looks lovingly at my pooch, Beau*

    August 28, 2008 at 8:22 pm

  6. JenAdams

    We like to joke in our family that when I hear a toddler having a fit like that, we can hear the sound of my ovaries slamming shut.

    I do understand that moms need to do what they need to do, and they can’t just stay home until the kid is 12, and I appreciate that you were teaching baby boy a lesson. So, next time I see that in a store I’ll try not to be like the judging old ladies. But if the moms do that whining no follow through thing, forget it! The dagger eyes are in!

    August 28, 2008 at 9:22 pm

  7. I learned to only take MiniDD shopping after a GOOD, LONG nap. Usually, the tantrums come from being tired and cranky. Even at 17, I still get a bit of a silent tantrum if I suggest stopping at the store after soccer practice. However, when he’s rested and fresh, I’ve got more of a shot at acceptance.

    My mother told me a long time ago that you don’t just raise your kids for yourself or them but for other people, as well. The problem today is that many parents simply do not want to be the “bad guy” and tow the line. You were at least trying to do that. Most parents get that and understand. It’s the braided-hair brats that I can’t tolerate. (Shrew knows what I mean.)

    August 29, 2008 at 1:26 pm

  8. MM, you are absolutely right about the tired=tantrum. Mister has decided he doesn’t need a morning nap, although I know he would do well to have one. He tends to turn into cranky-butt around 10:30…(wanna guess what time it was when he melted down in Target??)…but he won’t nap until after lunch. When nap is over it is usually between 3:00 and 4:00…way too late to start the errands since that’s winding up to dinner time. Our morning run arounds will get easier once he outgrows that morning slump. I’m also noting hungry=cranky so I’m learning to carry a myriad of interesting little snack foods with me.
    Today we had to go out for the girls haircuts (Big Girl looks about 17 now by the way) and some groceries, and he was a Mr. Charm-the-socks-off-the-old-ladies Boy. Go figure! Thank God for small miracles!!

    Oh, and braided-hair brats? I *think* I know the ones. I run into them, (and their parents) at the Y gymnastics classes if I’m not mistaken.

    August 29, 2008 at 3:39 pm

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