9 thoughts on “Going to Hell in a Handbasket

  1. shrewspeaks June 5, 2008 / 6:47 pm

    YES! I have managed a few…I must say the coaching approach only goes so far.

    The thing that ticks me off the MOST about all of this is the Boomer generation soaked up HUGE profits, ran up the housing market prices and makes our generation work like slaves to get what we have…NOW we are lumbered with their “always a winner” kids.

    Gen X is going to be the disenfranchised generation…we got late starts because of the boomers…and their kids are going to will us into early retirement. NICE.

  2. kanniduba June 6, 2008 / 6:54 am

    And I would truly like to know…WHY exactly are we giving these little twits so much power???? I say fire their a**es…there’s bound to be another somewhere out there…and I refuse to believe that every single member of the generation are selfish cads. If the little snots want to do it their way, then they should be starting up their own companies (which I think many of them have.) And what the heck is wrong with these parents, still enabling their kids??? Letting them continue to live under their roofs for free?
    I think it’s a shame that the entire generation is colored by these loudmouth selfish brats, because I know, from personal experience, there are many good, hardworking, diligent, respectful young people who do an excellent job in their chosen professions.
    You’re right about us Gen X’ers Shrew. Sometimes I feel like we carry the weight of the world in a sense. I feel like it’s our job to “fix it” in a sense…to attempt to mend the mess, by raising the generation of children who can save this sorry planet. I want my kids to be intelligent, wise (not the same as intelligent to me,) respectful, caring, empathetic givers…but at the same time I want them free to live their lives in a way that will bring them joy. It’s a wicked tall order, isn’t it?

  3. music maven June 6, 2008 / 8:13 am

    To me, this issue has been one of the most pressing facing business today. There is a large sense of entitlement from most of the generation. They are taught since infancy that they can and should have it all.

    Today, the “norm” is for them to attend college, graduate and sit back and wait for the money to roll in. This is conditioned by schools, government and colleges.

    They come out of college then expect to be making what seasoned (and proven) veterans are making and to give marginal efforts (in many, but not all cases). Then the veterans get pissed, so you’re in a lose/lose situation. And, they are brazen in what they will ask for. When you do find one that actually is a hard worker and has the “right stuff”, they become a premium and you generally lose them to higher bidders.

    The issues are larger than just what Morely lays out in this piece. We’ve become so sensitive and politically correct, that any parent who tries to discipline their children (and I don’t mean spanking) is considered rigid and regimented. Many of today’s parents (and those with children who became adults in the past 10 years) begin treating their children as adults nearly from the get go. They allow them to make too many decisions too early and aren’t being proper guides.

    I have found it difficult, at times, to maintain our parenting approach and values because of pressure from friends who are allowed to do anything, anywhere. We tow the line, but it has been challenging at times.

    Oh, and the Boomer thing….each generation has it’s cross to bear. I’m at the very tail end of the Boomer gen while Mr. D is at the beginning. We are part of the sandwich generation who are raising kids but also are taking care of parents who didn’t have 401k’s and feel that their children should take care of them like they did their parents. At least most Boomers aren’t dependent upon their children for survival, and it’s not the Boomers that have caused the latest credit crunch. That would be people who really couldn’t afford a home to over reach, gambling that the house would never call in the bets. For the most part, Boomers are still sustaining the economy and if not for that huge segment still spending money, we would see problems like the late ’70s. While many may be retiring soon, many won’t and regardless, they will continue to spend their hard earned money to find the font of happiness while they live longer lives which will support our economy for a very long time.

  4. shrewspeaks June 6, 2008 / 8:54 am

    MM…in the NYC metro area…from 91-2006 the race for Boomers to have bigger and better homes than the Jones was a reality of driving up the market. Couples with ONE child were buying homes with 4-5 bedrooms! And they were over bidding on them just to secure the contract on a house they wanted…taking that $500K home and buying it at the inflated $1.2 million. So maybe this is a local issue…but it paved the way for the mortgage crisis.

    Boomers aren’t dependant on their children but the sheer number of them WILL bankrupt the social security system and their will not be enough of us to support them.

    Either way…I have met more than my share of the “entitled” Monsters to know…KD it is the norm rather than the exception.

  5. kanniduba June 6, 2008 / 12:52 pm

    MM…always giving me something to think about.
    It is VERY difficult to parent and swim against the tide. Something as simple as telling my Big Girl she’s not getting a cell phone becomes cause for debate in parental circles. (Sorry, a fifth grader does not need a cell phone.) It’s difficult not to get swept into the current of popular opinion when it comes to parenting…yet you don’t want your child to be made the pariah because they are being raised in a more restrictive household than most. It’s like walking a tightrope, but the thing that hangs in the balance is your child. It matters that you do it right.
    We are witness to a false sense of self-esteem in many younger people today. Their positive self-esteem is a result of being told over and over that they are good, right, beautiful, creative, smart, kind…..even when they aren’t. They’ve come to expect praise and reward for things that simply “should be.” They do positive things for the recognition and strokes they will receive, not because it is what they “should do.”
    They have learned in school that learning should be fun, and if it isn’t, their teacher “sucks.” Their parents believe it too. “If my child isn’t having fun, then something is wrong with the school.” So they grow with the expectation that work should be fun too…not hard, not an effort, not an end to a means, but fun and engaging. Teachers work harder than ever to “engage” the little darlings, and keep the parents happy, and keep the state funding their school by seeing to it that their student’s test scores are satisfactory…and if they aren’t, it’s the teacher’s fault, not the student’s…not the parents who refuse to come to conferences, feed their children breakfast, or see to it that their child does their homework. Not the apathetic student’s fault.
    We mistake PIA for ADD and hope a little pill will solve the problem. We come up with new and creative ways to allow these PIA’s to learn in a non-restrictive environment, and if we don’t, their parents take them home to school them there. THEN these same children enter the workforce prepared to force the world to bend to their wills and temperament. AND they are protected by law in the workplace, no matter how crappy a job they do, no matter how many people they harrass…all because they’ve managed to enter the workforce with a “diagnosis.” (Okay, I had better say right here that I am NOT talking about the children with true ADD…as a special education teacher who has taught over 1500 students over the course of 12 years, sat on Child Study Teams for 10 of those years, as well as participating in more CSE meetings than I can count, I know what I’m talking about—so please, if you are new here, don’t lecture me on ADD or ADHD. I refer to the child whose parents have raised a monster, not borne a child in need of a unique education.)

    So, here we are….knowing that something went terribly wrong along the way, and now we are stuck with the little gems that society has created. So what do we do with them now that they’re here? How do we counter the disease, and immunize our children against it???
    These are the things that make me consider running away to that cabin in the woods. 😉

    *rant over*

  6. shrewspeaks June 6, 2008 / 12:57 pm

    KD…I call it my tin roof bar on the beach…but same idea.

  7. kanniduba June 6, 2008 / 1:01 pm

    Maybe we should create our own version of “The Village.”

  8. music maven June 6, 2008 / 5:29 pm

    Hey, Shrew…when I start getting “my check”, I’ll be sure to send you a personalized thank you note. 🙂

    KD — AMEN, SISTAH!!! You got it exactly right. Perhaps in the South we have it a little better because it’s alot more conservative and there are still alot of folks around who just will fire people and take their chances with the EOC and what not. We all are Right to Work states, as well, so even though we have to have the right documentation, you can fire people for insubordination and not being the right fit.

    When I was managing people, I was very lucky to be surrounded by like minded people who all felt the same way. We simply interviewed to our discretion for folks that weren’t brats — at least that we could tell. However, we still got a few who would push the boundaries. When that happened, I would pull them into my office and give them the “big boss” talk. I offered some friendly advice and told them that if they really wanted to succeed in business, 1. don’t worry about what others make; worry about if you are making what you think is fair and what you need to live and prosper; 2. don’t get involved in other people’s fights; it’s not your job to save the world; 3. hard work and diligence does not go unnoticed but neither does constant bitching and complaining. If you do your job, offer suggestions when warranted or solicited and basically have respect for those who came before you and have done this for a LONG time, you will succeed and you will move to the “head of the class”.

    In most instances, it worked. I think much of the attitude has to do with maturity and if we keep pushing back, they will eventually understand that to succeed, you have to adapt and realize that everyone has something to learn.

    On the teacher subject…you could not pay me enough. I have three SILs who were/are teachers and I can’t believe some of their stories.

    Also, guys I will tell you that I got over caring what the other kids think of me. When I see bad behavior in another kid, particularly if it’s affecting other children, I call them on it. Many times, these kids need to hear it even if it’s not from their parents. I tell my son all the time that saying yes all of the time and letting you do what you want even though it might be ill-advised or dangerous would mean that I’m lazy or weak or don’t want to be inconvenienced. The easy thing is to say yes. But, because I love you and I want the best for you and I want you to be around for a very long time, I do the hard thing and say no when it’s not in your best interest. After many fights, he’s finally starting to get it.

    Whew. Good topic.

  9. kanniduba June 6, 2008 / 9:40 pm

    I wish I had some twenty-something readers who would be brave and weigh in on the subject. I really would like to hear their perspective in this conversation. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s