A Phoenix Burning

Flying

So, we’re flying to Disneyworld next month, and once again I’m forced to face my fear of flying.  And yes, we’re flying Southwest, and scary news stories are SO NOT what I need right now!  And did you ever notice that just when you’re about to board a plane, there is a plane crash story everywhere you turn? 

I don’t know if it’s the loss of control, or my lack of trust, or just the plain old fact that it’s unnatural for humans to be miles in the air…but I nearly lose my rational self at take-off.  And of course, THEN I’m afraid, not only of flying, but of losing my nut and embarrassing myself and my family.  And, to top it all off, I refuse medication because I have three children and refuse to be half zonked on a flight. 

Now, lest you think I’m an absolute loony toon, I have never come unglued on a flight.  I’ve become pale with fear, but never unzipped. 

So, I’ve begun to work on visualizing myself sitting in the seat, the excitement of getting there overcoming the nervousness about GETTING there.  I’m visualizing calm, breathing, relaxation…this is good….until my brain clicks and I visualize myself screaming my guts out as the plane lifts off the ground.  Not good. 

Okay, so this leads then to the ultimate, self-induced guilt trip, as I hear that little “God” voice in my head saying, “Aha!  You don’t trust me.”  And I say back, “Of course I do!” while hanging my head in shame that, in reality, maybe I don’t.  “What about all those others who crashed even though they trusted You?”  asks my sinning self.  And back in my ear comes, “You mustn’t trust that I will save you, but that even if you crash you are saved.” 

I’ll work on that .

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